Some time along the days when I had short hair, someone said that I look like Haley Joel Osment :p Yes, the A.I. boy. He’s very cute, so I don’t quite believe so but you can see for yourself :p

  

No matter whether we look alike or not, I sometimes do wonder whether I’m like his character in A.I., someone who’s not real but made up with artificial intelligence. This is as if I have identity crisis and also doubting God’s sovereignty and creator identity but I do wonder.

 I wonder why there are some things which seem so innate in people just ain’t so in me. I am what I am because I learnt things. I am definitely not doubting God because this is not enough to doubt Him. Perhaps because we talk about the balance between nature and nurture a lot in psychology, I do wonder where is the balance and what do nature and nurture signify.

I learn, I learnt a lot in life (apart from academic things). I learnt to send people home whenever I can not only because it is a way I can bless others, but also because I learnt that some opportunities lost will never come again. I learnt that one cannot be to solemn or serious a person, others always like people with a sense of humour. I learnt that saying lame jokes make people go ‘duh’ but they laugh and like you a bit more. I learnt to draw things on my friend’s notes because that kills boredom and builds up friendship. I learnt to ask my friends about their love life directly because this is something deep in their hearts and if they are willing to tell me, we are probably more than mere acquaintances or friends. I learnt not to say too much when I don’t know much about things or don’t know how I should respond because nothing constructive will come out of my mouth and it could be better having said nothing at all. I learnt not to ask too many questions when someone’s sharing about certain things because that can be frustrating. I learnt that I’m probably trying so hard to be a good friend because it makes me feel good about myself rather than being a genuine good friend. I learnt that insects are scary, girls usually scream when they see them.

Yes, many of the things mentioned didn’t seem to be of my nature. Many people seem to be full of emotions but I seem to be lacking of many. My softball friend used to comment on how she have to scream for me when balls come flying at me while I seem quite emotionless about them. Actually I probably am scared but just didn’t scream.

There are also things which I don’t seem to understand and might not have learnt. For example, what is it like to like somebody? Sorry mr if you are reading this, but I do wonder. Have I ever liked someone before? Or am I just seeking a close friend in someone of the opposite sex? Am I just finding deep friendships with a guy just like those that I have with my girl friends? Perhaps it’s like what my girl friends tell me, I don’t know because I have yet to find that person. Or perhaps I just haven’t learnt it.

Heh.. Just some thoughts.